Revolution

I am certain that my children are close to starting a revolution. They are out to get me. Their main goal in life lately seems to be to break me.

G&R have been so unbelievably naughty lately that I can only stare at them with my jaw on the floor thinking to myself that somehow, they have become possessed by Satan and need an exorcism. I even thought maybe I should go get a big bucket, just in case projectile pea soup vomit flew out of their little spinning heads.

We all took C to the doctor this morning for her Well Child visit. I am so very thankful that the doctor has very young children. He totally gets why I look like I have been run over by a train. G&R would not stop touching things. The would not stop moving for 5 minutes. I felt like I was in a racquetball court and they were the racquet balls, bouncing off of the walls, threatening to put out my eye.

G decided at 7:30am that he needed to go pee. Does he go in the bathroom? Nope. He opens the door, goes outside and uses a tree. I am cursing the day he was ever taught how to pee outside.

I went to McDonald's to buy them lunch at 10:30 this morning. We went to the car wash. We drove around and wasted gas. Why? They were firmly strapped into car seats and semi controlled. I turn the radio loud enough so I didn't hear the fighting, the "mom, mom, mom, mama, mother, mom, mom, mom" and I don't feel one ounce of guilt. In the 4 hours they have been awake I have done nothing but chase them, discipline them, scold them, entertain them, clean ketchup off of the walls, pee off of the bathroom floor, told G no less than 87 times to leave the air conditioner ON.....I am tired. I will not let them win. What they don't know is that they cannot and will not break me.

Someone please tell me that I do not go through this for nothing. Please tell me that they will take care of me when I can no longer wipe my own butt, that they will call me every Sunday to check in, that they will give me lots of grandbabies so that when they call me up crying because their kids are being heathens, I can calmly say - Payback is a bitch.